Yes...but: Unit Standard 8812

Exemplar C: No Credit

“Peer pressure is unhealthy pressure.”

Surface features:
Achievement criteria assessing: 
Technical features:
•	spelling
•	punctuation
•	grammar
•	paragraphing

Deeper features:
Achievement criteria assessing: 
•	ideas
•	sequencing; examples
•	structure; style

Peer pressure can be good and bad it just depends on your perspective. For example, a beneficial way that it could be used would be if someone came up to you and said “have a puff on this cigarette” and the person turned round and said “no thank you.”

Attempts to address topic, although ideas  are often not relevant to peer pressure topic.
Insufficient understanding shown and limited development of ideas for credit. Generalised with little supporting detail.

Intrusive level of errors:
•	Several spelling mistakes.
•	Subject / verb agreement errors.
•	Syntax not controlled. Some run on sentences.
•	Inconsistent pronoun use: “we’; ‘you’.

I believe it dependents on the person and how they respond to situations that are tense. The way we react to things is concerned with whether we prefer tough or comparitively easy situations. Peer pressure can be hamful espeically to those who aren’t very self confident and who feel the only way to have friends and be cool is to do everything they tell you weather they feel comfortable with doing it or not. Obviously someone who is not used to working under pressure wouldn’t want to be in a state where they are subject to pressure. The performance of such people are adversly affected by increasing pressure. The correct way of dealing with such people would be to provide them with a less stressful situation.

Attempts to sequence writing. 
Uses paragraphs, but limited introduction and  conclusion. 
Examples  incorrectly included in the introduction.

On the contrary I believe that people used to challenges are mentally tough and strong. This is beneficial because it is teaching people to be strong and single minded and makes them feel that they can be popular and happy with being themselves without having to give in to peer pressure. They believe in themselves. Pressure on such people can surely boost their performance. Under pressure such people can adapt to the situation. It increases their probability of coming out as successful from under pressure but also prepares them for similar situations in the future. 

Attempts to use varied vocabulary, but style is not
sufficiently controlled for credit.

Peer pressure can be hamful if someone is pressuring someone into doing something wrong like drugs or stealing and the person they are asking is maybe not as strong as some other people and they decide that they like taking drugs and stealing. Peer pressure can also be hamful because if you are giving in to it and doing what others tell you to do then you are not being yourself and you may lose who you really are amongst what everyone else is telling you to do and be.

 In the end I would like to say that peer pressure is neither good nor bad. It’s correct or wrong application is what makes it beneficial or hamful.

From task 4:

b.	Unlike exemplars A (see exemplar_a.rtf) and B (see exemplar_b.rtf), exemplar C does not reach the standard required for credit. Read the annotations beside exemplar C, then compare exemplar C with exemplar B (see exemplar_b.rtf). What differences do you notice between the ideas, structure and style in each exemplar?

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