Yes...but: Unit Standard 8812

Exemplar B: Credit

“Graffiti has no place in our community.”

Deeper features:
Achievement criteria assessing: 
•	ideas
•	sequencing; examples
•	structure; style

Surface features:
Achievement criteria assessing: 
Technical features:
•	spelling
•	punctuation
•	grammar
•	paragraphing

Driving through town I could not help but notice some colourful splashes of graffiti plastered on walls and buildings. Much of this graffiti is artistic and interesting and has been carefully drawn. It brightens up some otherwise dull and boring parts of our city. However, not everyone feels the same way about graffiti, if it is your fence or business that has been ruined by someone scrawling a quick tag with a spray can.

Develops relevant ideas about the topic.
Integrates information from another source:
•	Newspaper article

Sequences writing. 
Uses: 
•	an introduction
•	a paragraph agreeing with the issue [‘Yes’]
•	a paragraph offering an alternative view on the issue [‘But’]
•	a paragraph putting forward ways of tackling the issue
•	a conclusion

Includes relevant examples.

Uses technical features without intrusive errors.

Some people might say that graffiti has no place in our community. It angers home and business owners as they reach into their wallets again to pay for the paint to cover over other people’s ‘art work’ that is defacing their property. One primary school principal has used the words “gutless cowards” to describe the graffiti ‘artists’ who have tagged the walls of his school on many occasions. The news article said that he was angry that he had to spend thousands of dollars of school money on repairs.

However, some graffiti is much more than a picture. Each image is unique to its artist, just like a person’s fingerprint.  Taggers can be talented artists, but by not asking permission first they are going about their art in the wrong way. They will get more support from the community if they go about their artistry in the right way and in the right place. 

Uses an appropriate style, including connectives [shown in bold]  to develop points.

Uses an appropriate paragraphed structure.

In saying that, graffiti could have a constructive role. Why not have designated areas where taggers are free to paint? This could lower the amount of graffiti in suburban and city areas as well as create an interesting place for teenagers to ‘hang out.’ It also allows artists to be known for their art and to let them be proud of their designs.

No matter how much it pains some people to admit it, graffiti is part of our community. It can also be seen as an exciting art form that needs to be recognised in a positive way. Taking this view could clean up our buildings and give young people a meaningful outlet for their creativity.

From task 2:

b.	Read exemplar B and underline the connectives. Talk about how the connectives have been used to develop ideas. 

From task 3:

a.	Read exemplar B again.  Find examples of these features [listed in task 1] in exemplar B:
•	an introduction to engage the reader:

•	a ‘Yes’ paragraph supporting the topic:

•	a ‘But’ paragraph presenting another viewpoint on the topic:

•	a paragraph presenting ways of tackling the issue:

•	a conclusion that makes a final comment on the topic:

© Ministry of Education, Wellington, New Zealand (First published 1998)