Three Common Features of Cohesion
Highlighting Coherence in the Modelled Report Exemplar:

Examples of three important ways of making writing cohesive are highlighted in the report modelled below.

Key:
Green = cohesion through repetition of keywords or phrases (for this example the chosen key phrase is "type of words"), synonyms of keywords, or closely connected words and phrases.
Red = cohesion through use of referents (demonstratives, personal and relative pronouns).
Pink = cohesion through use of conjunctions and other linking words and phrases.

What are the language learning difficulties for ESOL students in understanding the requirements of English Achievement Standard 2.2 at senior school level?

Many ESOL students studying in senior classes in New Zealand secondary schools have difficulty understanding the assessment requirements of Achievement Standards (AS). We decided that we would research the language of one of the English standards, 2.2, Produce crafted and developed formal transactional writing. We chose this because it is an important standard; it can be used to achieve University Entrance literacy and the skills that it involves are important in writing for many other curriculum subjects as well.

We decided to investigate three questions. We wanted to find out (#1) what type of words are used in AS 2.2, and (#2) how students can find the right meaning of words in this context. We also wanted to research (#3) the key features of a good transactional essay.

Research Question #1: What types of words are used in English Achievement Standard 2.2?

In order to research the type of words, we analysed the vocabulary in two different ways. First, we looked at the parts of speech and then we analysed the words into academic or general categories.

Twelve different nouns and verbs occur in Achievement Standard 2.2. All of the nouns are abstract because AS 2.2 discusses ideas and information. In the criteria for the standard all of the verbs are active, but there is one passive voice verb in the first sentence (is crafted). This keeps the instructions completely impersonal. Five of the verbs (develop, support, craft, structure, use) are imperatives which are at the start of each criterion. This is because the criteria instruct students about what they must do in order to achieve 2.2. One infinitive of purpose (to create) is used to make students focus on the goal of crafting, to create particular effects.

Two adjectives describe the type of writing (formal transactional) required by the standard, and the only other adjective in the standard is appropriate. Significantly, this word is repeated six times, and is used at all levels of achievement, and it is changed to an adverb (appropriately) in the introductory note. In every case the adjective is followed by the phrase to audience, purpose and text type. This explains the ways in which the writing should be appropriate. This repetition emphasises the importance of appropriateness to achieve 2.2.

There is an equal number of different adjectives and adverbs (four each in total), but their use, especially the use of adverbs, increases from the Achieved to Excellence criteria, as the standard requirements become harder to meet. Students do not just have to develop ideas, they have to do this convincingly; they do not just have to craft and structure their writing, they have to do so in a controlled way, clearly, and effectively. It is significant, however, that the adverb accurately stays the same at different achievement levels. This is an absolute, unchanging can do or cannot do requirement. This makes it clear that the student must achieve accuracy, which is defined in the Explanatory Notes as suitable for publication with minor editing. Although accuracy is probably the easiest criterion for NNS to understand, it is likely to be the most difficult criterion for them to meet.

We classified the 2.2 words into academic and general categories using the Coxhead's Academic Word List (AWL) and the NCEA Wordlist, and the first two thousand words of the General Service List (GSL). We analysed the vocabulary of Achievement Standard 2.2 (excluding the explanatory notes) to see which words were found in each list. This told us which words in AS 2.2 were academic and which were general. We were able to see which words are commonly used at senior secondary level (NCEA) and which are common in academic texts at tertiary level (AWL). 37 content words were analysed altogether.

We found that 26% of the 2.2 vocabulary (ten words) occurs in the AWL. 16% or six words (create, appropriate, text, structure, accurately, and draft) are in both the AWL and NCEA wordlists. All of the 2.2 words in the NCEA wordlist also occur in the AWL, but an additional three words (integrate, convincingly and convention) are in the AWL only. It is noteworthy that four of the AWL words which occur in AS 2.2 are found in the first two sublists of the AWL. This means that they occur particularly frequently in academic texts at university level (in 3.6% and 1.6% of academic texts respectively). Two words, transactional and craft, do not occur in any of the lists, so they could be classified as specialised or technical words in this context. This conclusion is supported by the fact that these terms are explained in the standard notes.

Contrary to our expectations, 68% of the words are in the first two thousand words of the GSL, although this reduces to 50% once the function words (articles, prepositions and pronouns) are excluded. 39% of these are in the first thousand wordlist; 11% in the second thousand wordlist. However, it is considered that some of these GSL words, notably present, command, attention and material, carry much more specific and academic meanings in 2.2 than those which are generally used. In common usage, the word present, for example, is most likely to be used as a noun, meaning gift, rather than as a verb. Similarly, it is probable that the word material in general use would have a relatively straightforward concrete meaning, whereas in 2.2 it refers to abstract ideas. Therefore, the use of the term general service may be inappropriate in this context.

Analysing the words made us more aware of the reasons for problems which ESOL students face in understanding how to achieve AS 2.2. The abstract nature of the words makes them hard to comprehend. Even the easy words take on hard meanings in this context.

Research Question #2: How do students find the right meaning of the words in the context of English Achievement standard 2.2?

In order to find out the strategies students currently use to find out word meanings in general, we surveyed nineteen senior secondary students. Six of these were native speakers of English (NS) and 13 were non-native speakers (NNS). The results of the survey are shown in the bar graphs below.

The most common way to find the meaning of an unknown word for both NS and NNS is to look it up in a dictionary. All students say they do this. NNS are more likely to ask a friend for help while the same number of both would ask the teacher. As anticipated, the most frequently used dictionary for NNS is an electronic dictionary. All students say that using a dictionary is the best way to find out the meaning of a word and that they would use context to choose the right dictionary meaning. However, during an assessment NS would work out the meaning for themselves or use their "common sense", while NNS would prefer to ask the teacher. Only one student (NS) admitted she would panic.

In order to research the vocabulary of Achievement Standard 2.2 specifically, we first consulted the Explanatory Notes of the standard itself. These define some of the important words used in the Achievement Criteria. However, the definitions are sometimes quite difficult to understand for ESOL students, because the words in the definitions are unfamiliar (e.g. craft, convincingly). One of the important words that was not found in the dictionary was 'transactional'. This is an example of a word that is used in this way only in this academic context. Although the standard does give examples of transactional writing types, asking the English teacher was still the best way of finding the correct meaning.

The collocations used, such as commands attention and text type, are not all explained in my dictionary. Interviewing the English teacher helped to clarify the meanings of the four most confusing words because the teacher used words I could understand to explain text type and conventions, for example. It was also possible to ask for further clarification when it was needed.

The teacher gave examples to help my understanding. She showed me how to "craft" writing. For example, from a sample of my writing, we changed "I think my future and what should I do make my future best" to "I think about my future and what I should do to achieve my goals". In addition, she suggested that studying the exemplars for 2.2. on the NCEA website would be a useful and worthwhile strategy. The exemplars (Excellence to Not Achieved) give clear guidelines about good and bad responses.

Overall, it was more useful to talk to the teacher because she used easier language and it was possible to ask for repetition and clarification.

Research Question #3: What are the key features of a good expository essay?

In order to research the key features of an expository essay, we looked up a number of mainstream English, IELTS and TOEFL writing test preparation textbooks, and we searched the Internet. There were a large number of sources of information, but the advice given was very similar. The IELTS and TOEFL textbooks were the least useful for English Achievement Standard 2.2, because they tended to focus on dealing with the test time limit and did not discuss researching and reading about a topic or the process of crafting writing. The most useful sources were those which provided more detail and used exemplars to show the different aspects of essay writing. These included the Form 6 Revision text, Text Types in English 2 by K. and M. Anderson and Bill Daly's website pages about Writing Argumentative Essays.

The list below summarises the main findings of our research. We have summarised the points in sections which correspond to the criteria for AS 2.2 because this will help students to understand the assessment requirements more specifically.

A good expository essay develops and support ideas convincingly

* selects relevant ideas
* builds on or develops each idea fully
* shows that ideas have been thought about carefully
* includes evidence to support each idea e.g. explanations, discussion, comment, observations, examples, anecdotes or quotations
* involves thorough research using evidence and references from a range of sources
* uses evidence in an integrated way, as a development or extension of an idea
* is planned, with a clear line of argument

A good expository essay is clearly and effectively structured

* is organised in a logical order
* is not repetitive
* has a clear introduction which clearly states the topic and the argument to be put forward
* has clear paragraphs each of which deals with one key point or idea
* uses topic sentences to show the reader which main point each paragraph is going to discuss
* develops the topic sentences of each paragraph with evidence and examples (see above)
* incorporates references and quotations neatly into sentences / paragraphs
* has a clear conclusion which summarises the main points and gives a strong final statement of the writer's opinion
* avoids generalisations
* is reasonable and may refute counter-arguments

A good expository essay is crafted to create effects and command attention

* uses vocabulary specific to the topic
* does not use redundant language
* uses a variety of appropriate sentence patterns
* links points carefully within and between paragraphs using appropriate linking / transition words and phrases

A good expository essay uses writing conventions accurately

* is written in the third person
* is accurate, with no errors in spelling, syntax, grammar, punctuation or paragraphing
* uses an appropriate formal register - no colloquialisms or slang, no contractions or abbreviations

In conclusion, our research found that the type of vocabulary used in English Achievement Standard 2.2 is abstract, academic and complex. The words which are used have many different meanings and ESOL students have to work out the correct and precise meanings for 2.2. Students all use bilingual dictionaries, but they should also read the explanatory notes in the standard carefully, and, especially, ask the teacher for clearer, simpler explanations which they can understand. We found a lot of helpful information about writing a good expository essay, but it was necessary to pick out the key points and link these closely to the 2.2 achievement criteria. In general, this research has given us a better understanding of the language and requirements of 2.2.